Monthly Archives: October 2013

It’s love, not hate

Let us agree that the following five points are true:

1. Christians believe that engaging in sex with a member of the same sex is sinful.

2. Christians believe that righteousness (following commandments) brings happiness.

3. Christians believe that sin brings misery.

4. If you love someone you want them to be happy.

5. If you hate someone you want them to be miserable.

So, how does one justify the claim that Christians hate homosexuals?  Christians with gay children often want them to change.  They support therapy to help individuals overcome unwanted same sex attraction.  They encourage laws that discourage homosexual behavior.  They fight school curriculum that teach homosexuality is equal to heterosexuality.

That is not hate.  It’s love.

They believe that happiness comes from being righteous, and that unhappiness comes from sinning.  So, any time they try to discourage others to ‘sin,’ it is because they want more happiness in their lives.

Whether or not they are right isn’t what is being debated here.  Homosexuals, of course, think that their lifestyle brings them happiness and that changing will not.  So they accuse anyone who disagrees with them of hate.  But where is the logic in claiming that a group that wants them to change is doing it because they hate them?

When has it ever been accepted that anyone who wants you to change hates you?

I have children.  I LOVE them.  I love them so much I can’t even begin to describe how I feel about them.  All I want for them is for them to be happy.

And yet… I limit their screen time.  I make my 6 year old do math and reading worksheets.  I make them bathe at least three times a week.  I don’t let them eat candy instead of dinner.  I don’t let my youngest children play in the woods alone.  I punish my sons when they scream or hurt their siblings.  I make them pick up their room, and I take away toys when they don’t.  I don’t let them do a ton of things that they want to do.  Things that would make them temporarily happy.  Things that they would definitely enjoy doing.  And I make them do other things that they hate doing.  Things that make them absolutely miserable.

And I’m trying to change them.  I’m trying to change them from selfish, irrational, hyper, loud, violent little creatures into young men and women that will speak kindly to everyone around them, think things through, put others before themselves, never lash out in anger and conduct themselves respectfully.

Why?  Because I love them.

They were born selfish.  Does that mean I should celebrate every selfish act they commit?  They were born with the desire to hit when someone makes them angry.  Should I encourage that behavior?  They were born screaming, and spent the next few years screaming every time they wanted something.  Should I teach them that is the natural way to get what they want?

The idea that loving someone means you should encourage and celebrate every choice they make is absurd.  It isn’t that way in any facet of our lives.  Why would I celebrate something I believe will lead someone to unhappiness?  If one of my children came to me and said they were going to live a gay lifestyle, I would be sad.  I would encourage them to try therapy.  I would ask if they were sure.  Because in my experience and exposure, the choice to live a gay lifestyle will not bring long term happiness.  I’ve seen the STD rates among homosexuals.  I’ve seen the divorce rates among homosexuals.  I’ve seen the frequency of substance abuse and sexual addiction among homosexuals.  And I’ve seen the happiness that comes from making different choices.  I would still love them with every ounce of myself, but I would hope they would make a different choice.  Because I want them to be happy. 

Now, in the world, as Christians conduct business and interact with people around them, they have the freedom to live their religious beliefs.  Those beliefs, whether or not you agree with them is irrelevant, usually include the Biblical belief that homosexual behavior is sinful, and that sin leads to unhappiness.  Some Christians, sure, are more ‘accepting’ and ‘loving.’  They would never dream of telling homosexuals that they are sinning.  I don’t understand why.  That seems like a much less loving position to take.  After all, telling someone that sinning is just fine as long as it is natural and makes them feel good, will simply lead to more sin.  And, therefore, more unhappiness.  (There are also people who claim to be Christian who say things like, “God Hates Fags.”  If a ‘Christian’ says something that is completely contradictory to everything in the Bible, can you do actual Christians a favor and not put them in the same category?)  Christians who express the belief that homosexual behavior is a sin are doing so to warn of what they believe are the natural consequences of sin.  If you were unknowingly driving toward a cliff, would you want someone to tell you to turn?  Who loves you more?  The person who says you should change, or the person who cheers you on in your path?

In every instance I’ve seen where people are accused of bigotry and hate, then sued for their intolerance, they have declined to celebrate a union they find sinful.  They have served homosexuals in the past.  They probably have gay friends or family, as I do.  They simply wanted to not be involved in a ceremony that celebrated and encouraged sin, or didn’t want to be a part of encouraging sinful behavior.  Because they hate gay people?  If they hated the gay people, don’t you think they would be celebrating their sinful behavior?  Don’t you think it would make them happy to see them solemnizing a relationship that would bring them misery?  That’s what hate means, after all.  You hate someone, you want them to be miserable.  You are going to encourage them to do something that you think will make them miserable.  If you love them, you would say something like, “I hope you can find someone else, but I just can’t be a part of this celebration.”

Which is what Christians do.  And the ones that fight against children being taught about homosexuality outside of the home are doing it because they love the children and don’t want them presented with sin as a viable, healthy, natural option.  Because they want them to be presented, instead, with choices that will make them happy.

If you love someone, you want them to be happy.

If you hate someone, you want them to be miserable.

Christians discourage homosexual behavior, and try to avoid involvement in any celebration of or encouragement of said behavior.

Christians do not hate homosexuals.